Fortunately, all's not lost, and you can figure it out. In fact, that's why I made this post -- it's something of a guide on the wild, woolly world of talking to girls. In other words, herein lies the machete you'll need to hack a path through the conversational jungle and emerge on the other side with that beautiful, smiling girl you've had your eye on.
If you're like most guys, the above conversation snippet probably sounds painfully familiar to you. Most guys don't. They just keep on saying the same things again and again, and getting the same mediocre results -- it's like they're trying to get through a brick wall by punching their way through, and even though it hurts and even though it isn't really getting them anywhere, they never take the time to stop and look around for a set of power tools.
The just keep on sluggin'. The thing about most regular guys' conversation is, it's boring. It's the same damn stuff a woman's heard a million times already from every other man on the planet. The first guy who tells you about his job as a store manager, maybe it's a little impressive. The tenth guy, it's prosaic and dull. And the thing is, when a guy makes himself sound like every other guy a woman's met, she's going to assume he's like every other guy she's met, too.
That's just how people work. A man can go wrong trying to build a connection when there's nothing to build it on. It makes him look like he's trying to make something out of nothing, and that turns women off. He can go wrong circling the drain with lifeless topics that he doesn't know how to navigate off of, and he can go wrong failing to connect and get past small talk. Showing too much approval for non-responses "Oh, you don't do anything for fun?
That's cool" or pressing too hard to get factual information about boring non-personal topics "What do you do all day at work? Worse still, many guys get into the habit of making inadvertently critical or awkward or downright insulting comments to women. They think they're teasing a girl , but instead they're scaring her off. There are comments out there that are absolutely dynamite But most guys, starting out, don't know what the right tone of voice is, and they say things in such a way as to convey a message very different from what they were seeking to convey.
What ends up happening is these guys' attempts to tease women or make conversation come off as critical -- the guy asking a girl, "What were you thinking? Critical remarks make people feel bad, and people will pull out the stops to try and get away from other people who make them feel bad -- especially if those people are strangers they have no social ties or obligations to.
For the people in their social circle doing that stuff to them, they just suck it up and try to minimize their exposure to those people. I can't stress enough how important it is to avoid regular guy conversation: it's an attraction killer, no two ways about it. If you found yourself in a random conversation with a random stranger one night, while you were just out minding your business and he walked up and started talking to you, and you had the following interaction, tell me how you'd feel about this guy:.
It's because you know this guy wants something, but you have no idea what that something is. Maybe he's into guys. Maybe he's by himself and he doesn't want to look like a loner. Maybe he's going to try to sell you something. Who knows? What you do know is that he's making a big effort to try and get to know you You know, you see legions of strangers every day, and they don't usually try to get to know you.
Well, believe it or not, this is exactly how women feel when most guys talk to them. This is often surprising news to men, because men tend to assume that of course women know exactly what they want when they walk up to them.
Women are rarely in possession of the assumption that "every man walking up to me is doing so because he wants to get into my pants;" and they usually only end up there after they've been approached by a lot of men say, in a nightclub, or if they're dressed up really nice, sexy, or flashy and walking down the street. Usually, they're rather withholding judgment while they try to figure out what it is a man wants with them.
Only, most men never tell them. They make them guess, and then go on this "bonding spree" or they try to be funny and bust on girls, all the while never hinting at what it is they want -- preserving this awkwardness throughout the interaction, until women can't take any more of it and cut things off and walk away. When you have a strong, sexual, magnetic vibe down, this can work awesome. Because the "feel" of you communicates to women what you probably want -- they can tell you're a direct, sexual man who's not going to wait around, play patty cake, or is going to settle for being her friend.
But if you're a newer guy, or even an intermediate guy, you probably aren't there yet in terms of your presence. Which is not to say you shouldn't work on it, because presence is one of the most powerful things you can get down.
You definitely should work on presence. But until you've got it down, skipping signaling your intentions will leave women guessing at what they are and feeling uncomfortable because they don't know them.
And what that means is, if you aren't communicating your intent to women with words, you're going to struggle to keep them in conversation with you. In lieu of a strong, sexual vibe that makes it dead apparent to women what you want, you're going to need to make it clear you're getting to know a girl because you like her through your choice of words.
In addition, you're going to have to avoid those boring topics and insulting comments we talked about earlier that send women running for the hills or at least for the bathroom, never to be seen again.
In order to do that, you'll need to know what to say to girls. A goodnight text is pretty much always a safe move to make to show a girl that you care about her or to work a sweet text into a conversation that'll make a girl smile. If you like a girl, you likely want to make her laugh.
If that's the case and things are getting flirty, you might go with both funny and cute love quotes like this ever-popular quote by the artist Tyga: "Life without you is like a broken pencil; there's no point. Sometimes, the sweetest text is one that is also funny. A sense of humor is an excellent attribute, so go for it if you are a funny person or can think of a funny and sweet text to send.
Your anniversary is a special day, and of course, you want to make it memorable for your girl. The right words will stand out to her and might even be something that she remembers forever. Here are some super sweet sayings to use on your anniversary that are sure to make your girl smile:. You brighten up my day every day. I can only hope that I do the same for you. For wedding anniversary quotes, check out this list of wedding quotes that are sure to make anyone's heart melt.
You want to give the best anniversary gift possible to your parents because they deserve the best. Maybe, you are not looking for gifts to give your partner on your anniversary, but you are looking for what to say and do for your parent's anniversary. Great gift ideas make it unforgettable for your parents, which matters because they deserve the best. The best second-anniversary present may differ from the best one-year or tenth-anniversary present, but it does depend on the couple.
Some of the best anniversary gifts for parents are meaningful but not necessarily expensive. Additionally, depending on your parents' personality, some of the best anniversary gifts for parents might be practical items. For example, your parents might be eyeing a new kitchen appliance, like a nice blender, and if they both have a personality where they would rather have practical items, it makes more sense that you would get them something like that. One of the best anniversary gifts for parents that is pretty universal is a gift that has to do with their wedding or the family.
For example, a handmade photo album or scrapbook can be very meaningful. Giving something personal or custom-made is a great idea for parents because they deserve to know how much you love them and value having them as your parents.
Ultimately, you know your family the best, but these are great ideas to go with. Parting ways is hard. Maybe, you're in a long-distance relationship. It could be that you or your spouse are in the military or that you're apart because of your career, travel, or family obligations.
When you love a girl, making her feel happy and making your girl smile is often the main goal and, when accomplished, the highlight of your day. When you say goodbye until next time, you can say something like "I love you with all of the stars in the sky " unknown , "I wish I could pause every moment with you to make it last longer," "I wish life had a pause button; I would pause every moment we had together" unknown , or "you will always be my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
While you're away, you can use a quote such as "I think of you and kiss my pillow before I fall asleep every night" author unknown , "I can't wait to see my girl smile again, and look forward to seeing your beautiful face again every day," or "each day feels like a year when I am away from you" to let her know how much you wish she were there. It's hard to be away when you want to be there, making your girlfriend happy and seeing your girl smile in real-time, but it is possible to make your girl smile from a distance through cute messages, sweet love messages, and love quotes.
If you're enjoying being around her, say so. If you think she's awesome, tell her, "I think you're awesome. Let her know that you value her. If you're looking for things to say to a girl you like , you should start by simply saying the things you would say to any girl.
Once you've established that foundation, then you can start turning up the heat a bit. If it seems like she's digging your vibe, try asking about relationships and dating without getting too personal. You can try to feel out if she's single and if she's interested without asking directly. For example, you could talk about a nightmare date you went on, and see where that leads the conversation.
Before you ask her out directly, talk about local date ideas and see if she expresses interest. If her eyes light up when you bring up that Thai restaurant that opened up, you just got the green light to invite her out for dinner. Now this is a tough one because you don't want to come off like you're bragging.
At the same time, if you want to win her over, you want her to be aware of your accomplishments. Talk about cool things you've done without sounding like you're Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.
Slip one tiny brag into the conversation and then move on. Don't dwell on it unless she pushes you. Talking about plans for the future with a girl is great for two reasons: Not only can it create an excited, fun conversation like talking about vacations , but you can also. For example, she may be hyper focus on her career and getting promoted, or she might be planning to move to a new state next year. The question to ask yourself , do her plans for the future align with what you want in a relationship?
So your lingual skills panned out and you landed a date. Way to go! Now you need things to talk about on a first date. Now, you can use some of the previously mentioned topics, but make sure it doesn't sound like you planned out the conversations in advance.
When you're on a date, you need to be able to talk about what's happening in real-time. Whether you're talking about your favorite appetizers or your favorite song by a band you're seeing in concert, a date should have plenty of topics all around you. Be aware of them and use them to your advantage. The purpose of going on a date is to get to know someone , so help her open up by asking about what she's been doing lately.
This shows her that you're interested in her life, and it helps you to determine if she's a good match for you. Other art forms, like movies, books or fashion, are all great conversation-starters. What exactly makes them so good? And future or past vacations provide a great source of conversational topics:. And who knows? If it sounds like you want to see the same places, you might even eventually be able to plan a future getaway together Would you rather spend the night playing video games or board games?
Could you ever see yourself abandoning your current lifestyle in exchange for a nomadic life? Where do you stand on the pineapple pizza discourse? If you could go back in time, without changing the past, where would you go and why? Do you use social media? If you were in a band, what instrument would you play? Do you collect anything? If you could bring to life any idea for an invention what would you create? Did you play sports as a kid? View in gallery What was the last movie you saw in theaters?
Use this as an opportunity to ask her to go catch a movie with you sometime. Have you ever traveled outside of the country? If you could choose to never something again for the rest of your life with no consequences, which would you choose?
Are you the type of person who can easily wake up first thing in the morning or do you need multiple alarms? If you were reincarnated as an animal, what animal would you most likely become? Do you have any hidden talents? What is the most bizarre dream you remember having recently? When you go to an amusement park are you there for the rides, snacks, or both? Have you ever seen insert your favorite movie here?
Get her to brag about herself and find out just how impressive this girl really is. Have you been here before? How has your week been? What did you do on your last day off? How long have you lived in the area? What are you drinking? View in gallery 1. Are you flirting with me? Have you ever been skinny dipping?
Have you ever gone home with someone after the first date? Do you ever make the first move? Who is your celebrity crush? Find out who the lucky bastard is. What is your worst, yet most comical date experience? Have you ever been hot for teacher? Who was your first crush? What did you think of me the first time we met? Did she find you irresistibly handsome or was she unsure if you guys were going to hit it off? Which songs would you put on a mixtape for someone you had feelings for?
What fictional character reminds you of yourself? Remember to always be ready with a reply and your own personal twist on the question. How do you like your eggs? What do you find most attractive about yourself? This is a great way to give her a compliment without making her feel uncomfortable. What do you consider the sexiest quality about a man? What would our couple name be? Do you cuddle in bed or immediately roll over to the opposite side?
Where should we go on our next date? Go ahead, be presumptuous! Are you close to your family? Knowing more about her family will give you a leg up if you end up meeting them later on though.
Do you have any siblings? Do you have any nieces or nephews? Have you thought much about having kids of your own? How close is too close when it comes to living near family? Do you have any irrational fears or phobias? How do you decompress after a stressful day?
Have you ever broken any laws? If yes, did you get caught? How much do you value communication in a relationship? Do you prefer to live alone or with roommates? Would you vacation on Mars? What would your reality TV show intro be? How do you eat a cupcake? Do you think the Olympics should have an average person competing in each sport to provide a baseline? And if so, which sport would you look forward to seeing most? What would your fight song be if you were a professional boxer?
Do you think Carole Baskin killed her husband? If you could choose your high school superlative what title would you give yourself? Would your adolescent self be proud of who you are today? Are you a religious or spiritual person? What are you hoping to accomplish in the next few years? Have you ever had a close encounter, or experienced what you would call a glitch in the matrix? If you were able to gain the ability to see the future would you seize the opportunity?
Does she want to know what happens next in life or is she fine living life day by day? Are you a glass half full or glass half empty type of person? Who would you consider your hero? Do you have a personal code of ethics? Where does she stand as far as virtue ethics are concerned?
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